The Day After

Dear Kids,

I’ve logged on to my blog after a year of hiatus. “I’ve been busy” doesn’t begin to encompass the grind that I have been going through ever since we left the mountains and returned to the potholes. Last year, in a matter of weeks, our family relocated across the country, moved into a new home, started new roles in our careers, began daycare, and went back to graduate studies. While I question my sanity on a daily basis, with serious concern for my mental health, I remember that everything I have decided to do has been with free choice and a conscious effort to set a good example for pretty much anyone out there who has goals to attain. Needless to say, you, my children are my greatest motivations.

Today however, I feel that somehow as a mother I have failed you, because humanity has failed you. I find that when I wish hard enough for something to happen, and if I say it out loud enough times, it happens. But with these current events, I wasn’t optimistic until the last moment. I spent only the last couple of days giddy at the thought of witnessing the election of the first female president. I intended on leaving my night class early to watch the election with your father and a bowl of popcorn, bringing victorious Timbits for my colleagues the morning-after, and possibly even purchasing a t-shirt with the American flag on it, because the hypothetical scenario I had created in my mind was so sweet. It was going to be such a privilege to be a young woman during this era. America was going to “be great again”, Hillary will have shattered the glass ceiling, and I would be a unicorn living in a fantasy world where I could continue conquering anything I set my mind to. Most of all, my children could grow up saying that in their childhood, a woman had publicly defeated a misogynistic and racist clown, proving that good people prevail.

Unfortunately, that’s not how it all went down and I have spent all day pouting in the sorrow of Hillary Clinton’s loss. I’ll get over it, because I believe that after darkness there is always light. And continuing on the path of setting an example for you kids, I will remember these wise words of the honourable Prophet Mohammed: “Those who enjoin right will be oppressed, and those who condemn vice will be suppressed. Hence, strengthen your faith for that time, and cling to faith as you would clench on for dear life.” The future seems scary right now, but we can’t let fear hold us down. When you’re older, I want you to look back at this day in history, and this post that your mama has written for you, and cherish all that good people have contributed to humankind. Without forgetting how bad people strengthened us, be proud of your roots and your identity. Know that education trumps ignorance, acceptance trumps judgement, kindness trumps bullying, love trumps hate, and faith trumps fear. Your parents and loved ones have taken the huge responsibility to steer you in the direction of what is good for you, and what will aid you in being good towards others. While hateful people might have the liberty to spread darkness in their path, don’t ever let that hold you back from following the light in yours. As Hillary Clinton said in her concession speech today, “Never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams.” My dear little ones, you are nothing short of worthy and capable of moving mountains.

With Love,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Homemaking to Career-making: 5 Pointers

I’m ready to go back into the workforce. Whether that means going back to my profession of teaching, pursuing a small business venture, or experimenting with a new career path, I feel ready for anything. Getting into this head space took more preparation and effort than I ever imagined. After three years of being away from the grind of preparing lesson plans, attending meetings, meeting deadlines and dressing professionally (ok that last thing is not really a grind), one can imagine how nerve-racking it could be to get back into that flow. Admittedly, I haven’t entirely gotten used to this lifestyle of spending a large part of my day in my jammies and not having the motivation to style my hair. Babies who enjoy wearing their food and pulling my hair don’t exactly give me the encouragement a mother needs to maintain her appearance! Nonetheless, I’ve made a conscious effort to get out of my stay-at-home mom funk and prepare myself for the “outside” world.  

The following methods have really been working for me, allowing a significant change in my confidence and determination. I’m sharing these pointers in hopes that they can help you too!

1. De-clutter

When you have more than one child in the house, the plethora of toys, diapers, snacks, and clothes can be daunting. If tackling the entire home is hard right now, pick 1 room. For me that room is the kitchen, which is where I spend a lot of my time. When I have a tidy kitchen, I have a clear head and tend to be more inclined to cook or bake. If I de-clutter my bedroom, I’ll be more inclined to rest! Another good space to look after is an office (sometimes AKA the dining table!). De-cluttering a physical area simultaneously clears head space. When you don’t have junk to look at, it gets easier to organize your thoughts and get in touch with yourself.

2. Think out loud

In a household with a colicky baby, a tantrum-y toddler, a blairing television, repitive nursery rhymes, etc. – losing your voice is inevitable. I found my thoughts piling up in my head and overwhelming. Exhausting. I decided to just start sharing my ideas for personal and professional projects with my better half and some friends. I started to talk about new goals I found myself developing as my husband, my growing babies and other women inspired me. I asked myself, what am I passionate about? These conversations are ongoing, and so healthy.

3. Negativity is counterproductive

Surround yourself with positive vibes. Being a new mom, particularly to very young children that are close in age, has shown me how dark some days can get. It’s not always sunshine and buttercups! Buttons are pushed, patience is tested and my mental and physical state is constantly challenged (imagine a toddler elbowing you in the stomach or a baby girl’s high-pitched shriek at 2a.m.). You have enough on your plate. The last thing you need is toxicity, whether it’s in the form of a bad relationship or a bad habit. Kick it to the curb. Remember that above all, your little ones  need you to be an intellectual, positive, and dignified role model.

4. Research

Use the resources that are at your disposal. Once you’ve figured out what floats your career boat, look it up. If you’re going back to your job, have practices changed since you left? Are there new employees at the office you might want to meet beforehand? If you’re seeking something new, are you qualified? Is your résumé ready to face the competition? Dig into your network and see who can connect you to the right people and places. Make phone calls. Read. Keep learning, it will give you clarity and confidence.

5. Act

Do it. Choose your return date and step back into that office (or classroom?) that you know so well. It won’t be as hard as you think because you will have your colleagues there to support you. Or, apply for that new job. You have nothing to lose! You never know what new possibilities await you unless you face them.

Sometimes the obstacle is not time, nor your family, it’s you. You have to break out of your mommy-shell and throw yourself back into the ocean of adults. You have to do this guilt-free. You have to redefine your priorities, and your purpose. Give yourself a chance. Cheer yourself on. Remind yourself that the world is your oyster. 

 

Girls’ Night

Now how does that saying go…”when one door closes, another one opens”? I don’t know if that idiom works as the backdrop of the feelings I experienced last week, but I’ll let you figure that out.

I’ve been fortunate enough to maintain many solid friendships from back home ever since we moved out west. In fact, some of those friendships actually blossomed after my move. It’s interesting how you can find commonalities with acquaintances, cousins, colleagues, friends-of-friends, and strangers, after you’ve been extracted from your bubble of familiarity, comfort and security. In this case I’m talking about a former colleague and friend, who has inspired me for the last year especially.

You know how every now and then on Facebook or on random websites you’ll have this ad of some crazy fit, pretty girl with toned abs and a wild before-and-after photo? That’s her. She’s one of them. Except she’s not a computer virus – she’s a real person! While some pregnant women in their 3rd trimester would probably want to punch her in the face for looking so flawless, because I knew her personally (biggest heart and sharpest mind in this universe), I was inspired to be like her. Ok WAIT, no I did NOT get into shape. This post is not a revelation of the umpteen pounds I lost thanks to her workout and meal program. That will happen one day, but not right now.

What happened is that circumstances have brought her to Vancouver, thus bringing me a real friend from my hometown, to my new home. And what happened is that while a door temporarily closed for her to end up here, for me, a door opened. The chances of me having time outside the home, without a child glued to me, increased dramatically. The possibility of me talking to an adult, and then cracking a joke, and then both of us laughing, went up. And finally, the likelihood of me feeling like myself again, goofing off, and discussing topics other than my children, my home, and my responsibilities, became greater.

So after having met up once for gelato (and a much needed heart-to-heart), we agreed on having a “girls night” last Thursday. Her bestie was in town with her husband (an awesomesauce couple by the way, PLEASE check them out at Love Tripping). I was giddy with excitement because this would simultaneously be my 1. First night out without a child, 2. First night out without husband, 3. First night out with girlfriends, since October 2013 = 17 months. True story. But up until hours before 7:30pm that day, I was looking for excuses to bail.

I was scared of being socially awkward in front of new people. See I’ve had many great conversations with strangers and new friends here in Vancouver, but all women and mostly mothers who understand the grind. But now I was doubting myself immensely. What if I don’t know how to have a conversation without mentioning my kids? More frightening, what if I can’t string together a few words more sophisticated than mum-mum and formulate a mature sentence? I was self-conscious about my appearance; bags under my eyes, a new grey hair, outdated clothes. We were meeting up at a hip urban restaurant, instead of a coffee shop or mall. I was scared that this place full of self-assured and cool people would swallow me whole. What if I dozed off or no one could hear what the hell I have to say because I don’t remember how to adjust my volume according to the sounds of music on loudspeakers and the buzz of adults catching up, flirting, and networking?

My husband nearly pushed me out the door with these wise words: “Just make a cowboy accent when you’re nervous.” So I survived (without the accent, thank God). I went, I saw, and I conquered. I spoke with my mouth full (not polite, but give me a break the food was delicious). I did talk about my husband and children, but hey, they’re my raison d’être. I think we all had a really good time chatting and eating and getting our minds off the wear and tear of our current lives. The evening confirmed for me that “there’s a reason behind everything”. The three of us were destined to be together that night to lift each other up and offer support during challenging times. It was definitely a girls night that I personally needed for a long time and am so grateful to have had.

And if nothing else, at least my shoes were on point. 🙂



Daydreams



I haven’t written in several weeks. Obviously my hands are full with the hustle-bustle of an active 2-year old and a slobbery crawler (who’s always getting knocked over by the 2-year old). Besides my hands though, my mind has been full too – full of reflection. As my daughter has reached 10 months, I realize that my break is finally near. After almost 3 years of pregnancy-childbirth-breastfeeding-sleep deprivation-repeat, I have finally found the time to THINK. More shockingly, I’ve been thinking about ME. It almost feels selfish to admit that. But this is my space to be honest so yes, I have been wanting to think about myself for a long time. I have secretly prayed for this stage to come and save me from Lego minefields and high chair explosions.

There have been some trying times since my last post. My husband has worked around the clock, keeping him at the office past the kids’ bedtime and awake all night once he got home. It wasn’t a pretty sight but I kept my game face on knowing that it was only a matter of days. Ultimately though, those days began to feel like an eternity. I’ve tried to keep myself and the little ones busy everyday, not just to help time pass but to especially make myself feel that like my hard-working husband, I am contributing something to our lives and household as well. At the end of the day, I don’t always feel like I’ve succeeded. I go to bed exhausted and still feel like I could have spent a few less minutes watching TV or shouldn’t have taken those 15 minutes (that’s A LOT) to lay in bed while the babies napped. 

I have loved every moment of spending time at home with my babies, but man am I ever ready to exercise my creative muscles and do something else! Returning to my day job isn’t presently a choice – as ready and eager as I am to go back to teaching. In the meantime I’m exploring other interests and hobbies. Asking myself, what would make me feel independent again? What kind of personal project could excite me? Do I have any talents?? (I don’t have any, but you get the gist) Most importantly, what’s my 5-year plan? Oh yeah, I went there. And turned up with some answers and new goals that surprised me. 

So with that said, I hope I could inspire other women reading this! Although motherhood is a huge triumph in itself, we’re definitely made of more than the soft stuff. My experience has taught me that if I can have the strength to go without sleep and a social life for a year plus, and still come out smiling, I can definitely do other great things with that same dedication. Wish me luck!

The B-Word

Babies and bellies galore and it’s only January! What an exciting time. I get so giddy when I hear of someone being pregnant or even going into labour. I know, I’m a nut. I feel like I’m part of an unspoken sisterhood and hey, I just love sending my sisters positive vibes! As busy as my days get, I love catching up with my mommy or mommy-to-be friends. It’s so important to have a go-to support system which includes a fellow mom (and by mom I’m not referring to someone born in the 1950s or 60s). There are some things that are minimally, if at all, discussed before a woman gives birth, and sometimes it’s best to hear those truths from a girlfriend, instead of pushy nurses or grandparents! Now I’m not talking about the new shapes and sizes your lady parts will take, or the surprise leaks. I’m talking about the joys and sorrows of the B-word. Breastfeeding.

I’m not an expert but I have had the good fortune to see both sides of the coin. Nursing your baby can be 1) a straight hit, 2) a tumultuous journey to a hit or, 3) a tumultuous journey to a miss. But it’s never a straight miss because mothers aren’t given the liberty to leave it at that. We are urged to try, try, and try again. With good reason of course. Breast milk is custom-made by the mother’s body for her child, packed with nutrients and antibodies. There is an abundance of benefits to feeding your child breast milk. Check out what the Public Health Agency of Canada has to say about it if you need more convincing. When things go awry though, it can be as frustrating as it could be rewarding. Those hazy, tiresome, discouraging days following childbirth make you feel like you’re the lone soldier on this sometimes cruel mission to breastfeed- trust me it wasn’t easy for me the first time. But I’m back to my senses now, and believe me when I tell you that you are not alone! I’ve come up with tips for the Top 6 Challenges that could make your journey with nursing quite the roller coaster ride, as they did for me.

1. The baby won’t latch. Remember that your little bundle of joy is as new at this as you are. He or she might need your guidance and especially your patience. Be mindful of his/her body temperature. Suckling is quite the workout for their little bodies so don’t overdress them at the time of feeding. You’re probably a sweaty mess too, which can add to the potential discomfort. In fact, it’s recommended to undress them to their diapers for maximum comfort and to keep them awake. Tickle your baby’s cheek or toes to remind them to keep going!

2. Your milk supply is low. You should keep yourself well-hydrated and don’t diet! Juices, milk, and especially water are beneficial to keeping your milk supply going. I had been advised by my doctor to drink a full glass of water right before feeding. My mother used to encourage drinking milk and mother-in-law encouraged soups. Some women even take fenugreek pills, as it is linked to promoting milk flow.

3. It may happen intermittently which can cause blocked ducts. Breastfeeding is all about supply and demand. My little guy wasn’t (and still isn’t) keen on eating much. He always lasted 10-15 while nursing and I don’t think he was getting much because my supply was low. All his on and off in those early stages kept me engorged here and there, ultimately blocking my ducts and giving me DUN-DUN-DUN mastitis. I will never forget that day. Pumping, massaging, cold compresses, and at worst, antibiotics will have to conquer this challenge.

And if all does go well…

4. Pump and introduce the bottle right away. Second time around, I had non of the above-mentioned issues. Being without friends and family though, I didn’t put importance on bottle-feeding because I thought that I wouldn’t need the freedom and the breaks. Oh but 8 months later is it ever a regret! I know time is short when all you want to do is sleep, but try to dedicate a few minutes to pumping and bottling your milk. That way your little one won’t be overly attached to your body and others can help with feedings.

5. Expect less sleep, less rest, and a more dependent baby. This is mostly true. Nursing your baby can give you quiet moments in the day when you have no choice but to sit down with pillows propped up behind you, but you’re also more likely to have a baby who wakes for feedings at night and needs your particular attention more often. This has been my personal experience, as compared to my first born who mostly drank formula, slept through the night, and was quite independent.

6. Be prepared to be hungry all the time. Losing the baby weight had been a cloud over my head from the moment I left the hospital until I decided to just let it go for now and focus on being happy and active for my children. The biggest challenge after lack of sleep has been dealing with the hunger pangs. I avoided eating “too much” at first but it wasn’t working for my energy level and it definitely wasn’t going to benefit my exclusively breastfed baby. While junk should still be avoided, do not diet! Try these for a healthy boost.

Finally, what do parents do when breastfeeding just won’t work? After speaking with lactation consultants, nurses, doctors, others you trust, and most importantly your partner, things still may not flow (pun intended) the way you’d hope. So infant formula has to be the route to take, and don’t feel bad about it! Infant formula is an alternative to breast milk, full of vitamins and nutrients. In fact formula even has vitamin D, unlike breast milk. Read as of page 4 at this KidsHealth.org link to find out the pros and cons of formula-feeding.

I’ll end with this: bonding with your baby will happen regardless. No matter how you feed your precious baby, he/she will love you, need you, and want you just the same. Do not fear a disconnect from your child if breastfeeding is not a hit for the two of you. What baby needs from mommy is love, warmth, and her strength. That doesn’t mean that you have to get up and cook dinner with one hand while Swiffering with the other. It means you have to believe in yourself. Your care, worry, and perseverance proves that your maternal instinct is switched on and the well-being of your baby is your priority. But pressuring yourself to breast feed perfectly and exclusively, may not work. The mental and emotional strain alone will be trouble for both of you. There is no right or wrong answer to how this mothering thing works, and you are definitely not alone on this ride.

Mama-and-Baby

New Year, Old Me

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I’m not big on New Year resolutions because I feel that change should come with experience and reflection, and not the arrival of a new date. Life should be lived in moments, and not years. I believe one should really dig deep into their core and find out what makes them unhappy or incomplete and fix it with patience instead of a due date. With all that said, I’m considering making an exception to that perspective this year!
A lot happened in my life in 2014 . On an emotional level, I think it was a turning point for me. I strongly felt every emotion in the book last year, all for valid reasons. Joy, loneliness, pride, sadness, love, fear, you name it. But among all these feelings I think I have been missing self-satisfaction.
Sometimes I feel that I might lose myself in the craziness that is my life nowadays. Naturally, we all change when we become parents. I think it’s impossible not to. But my fear for several months has been that living away from my support system will eventually lead to me becoming an introverted zombie. I worry that being home all day, all night with the never ending duties of motherhood will create a habit of self-neglect and perpetuate the low self-image that developed when I was pregnant.
Let me elaborate. During my second pregnancy there were weeks where I felt like I was flirting with prenatal depression, which in turn created a fear that I may be at risk for postpartum depression. All this only made me feel disappointed in my unusual lack of strength. And then I questioned if this was the beginning of a new person. A person who doubts herself, internalizes feelings, and has low self esteem.
Looking back, I know that I was a hormonal hot mess and I’m happy to report that the deeper feelings of sadness and low self-image are gone (largely thanks to my fantastic husband). But every now and then I catch myself feeling dissatisfied with the way I look, my lifestyle, and doubting that managing my kids will get easier.
Thus I’ve decided to join the New Year’s Resolution bandwagon and make a promise to myself. Instead of adopting the “new year, new me” motto, I’m going for “new year, old me“. I’m going to do everything I can to reconnect with the person I was pre-motherhood. I liked that person! She was funny and goal-oriented. She was a huge proponent of “me time”. Nothing life threw her way was a burden, just momentary challenges. So this is what I resolve to do in 2015: achieve mental and emotional peace by cutting myself slack. Maybe I’ll find myself a hobby, read a bestseller, or paint my nails more often. I’ll start with the small things for now and eventually, I’ll work towards conquering a mountain or two.

The Darkest of Days

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How blessed am I by the favour of the Almighty to be woken up at 4am today by my healthy and hungry 7-month old for her routine feeding. And how blessed is she to have the warmth of a crib, in the warmth of a safe home, and to be in the arms of her mother without having to even cry for milk. It was a peaceful and typical few minutes as I nursed her back to sleep, scrolling through my newsfeed to see what the morning had in store for me today. And I was punched in my core with a tragic status that a cousin in Pakistan had posted minutes earlier. Children? School? Shooting? Taliban? None of this made sense then and probably will never make sense to any of us sane people.
My heart breaks for the young lives that were senselessly lost, and my heart aches for the surviving victims that heard, saw, smelled and were touched by the barbarism that infested the Army Public School in Peshawar this morning. But most of all, my heart bleeds for the parents.
When we become parents, from the moment we learn of the pregnancy, we start to form an idea of how the future will look. How it will all change, how it will be busier, and how it will shine. A child becomes the center of his mother’s universe as soon as he forms his temporary abode in the womb. Every kick, every flutter, every hiccup that the pregnant mother feels is loaded with hope, dreams, and prayer. She daydreams about his face. She wonders about his smile and his smell. A mother and a father may giggle at the thought of this little being they created, curiously crawling into unfriendly corners, or laughing at the sight of water pouring out of a faucet. A father will plan to take his child out for walks in the park. He will think about all the lessons he will have to teach this young person and how he will help with homework. Parents will worry over things as common as coughs and stumbles and celebrate milestones such as sports victories and passing grades. They’ll share their plans for their child’s long-term future: “I want him to be an engineer.” Or, “I want her to have a fairytale wedding.” And the most popular sentiment of all, “I want him to have everything I didn’t have.”
These are the thoughts and feelings that unite all parents, of all children, all over the world. But the mothers and fathers of the 132 children we lost in Peshawar today won’t be able to see their visions for their children become a reality. Those dreams were massacred today. Among those children could have been scientists, leaders, humanitarians, and so SO much more. All we know now is that these parents will have a void in their hearts and in their homes that will never ever be filled. The dreams they once had for their beloved children have now vanished in the wake of this tragic nightmare.
So tonight I reflect on my own dreams for my little ones and I adjust them to keep up with the time and world we live in. I fluff up and colour my dreams like bright cotton candy to contrast the darkness of this world. Yes, I want them to have the kind of education, lifestyle and faith that brings them success and contentment. But for the sake of my children’s well-being, I also dream of a radical, positive change in the world. A world that is free of violence and intolerance. I dream that differing beliefs do not divide, but illuminate this world.

26 Do’s and Don’ts of Putting My Baby to Sleep

1. Do turn the lights off.
2. Do shut the door.
3. Do have an open mind.
4. Don’t have your hopes high.
5. Don’t sit on the rocking chair.
6. If you do sit, try rocking the chair.
7. But usually, don’t rock the chair.
8. Don’t just stand.
9. Don’t sway.
10. Don’t bounce.
11. Don’t jog in place.
12. Don’t do lunges.
13. Don’t pace back and forth.
14. Don’t dance.
15. Don’t sing.
16. Don’t shush.
17. Don’t hum.
18. Don’t hold upright.
19. Don’t cradle.
20. Don’t cuddle too close.
21. Do hold tight when she arches her back.
22. Don’t use the “cry it out” method, it’s evil. Or,
23. Do use the “cry it out” method because it’s genius.
24. Don’t be noisy by chatting.
25. Don’t be pathetic by begging.
26. Do try all of the above just in case one of them works.

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Life & Cookies

imageNot having a smartphone at my disposal has frankly been a breath of fresh air these last fourteen days. My husband kept calling me a social media addict and I persistently begged to differ. But I see now that although the word “addict” is strong, I was dependent. I have been super homesick for a couple of months and maybe digging my nose into my phone was helping me pass my days and block out the noise of tantrums and Elmo. Ever since I lost my phone though, I have vowed to grow up and smell the coffee. Or in my case, the tea. This past week+, I’ve brought the soothing warmth of herbal tea into my life. It’s been a refreshing change to my diet. I decided to stop being stubborn and old fashioned and embraced our dishwasher. It has been LIFE CHANGING. Here I am now, no phone and no dishes in the sink. Lots more time to REST. I’ve also played and danced and laughed A LOT with my toddler and he’s been much better behaved. I’m wondering now if there is a correlation between my occupation with my phone and his bratty demeanor. Lots of food for thought there. Speaking of food, I’ve brought baking back into my life. Baking and I have a love-hate relationship. I go on these spurts where I try, I fail, I write off. But with rest comes patience and for me, ambition. So I baked an apple cinnamon loaf. Messed up a bit but my husband liked it so I went on and tried something else. Cookies.

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I had a pile of regular (without nuts) M&Ms – who eats those?? – from a sizable box of Halloween chocolates we got for free with our groceries one day. So I decided to Pinterest some baking ideas and found this awesome and easy recipe from How Sweet It Is. You can check out the recipe directly on the website, but I wanted to share a few adjustments I made/would make.

First, the recipe includes baking soda. I don’t have baking soda at home (the one in my refrigerator is not suited for baking), so I used 1 and 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder. I read somewhere that you can use 2-3 times more baking powder to substitute the baking soda. It worked out just fine for me!

Next, this recipe’s originality was that it tells you to roll each portion of cookie dough into a ball and then tear it apart. The halves are then pressed together “back to back”. What I missed was the part where you have to squish them together. SQUISHING IS IMPORTANT. I didn’t do that and so the top halves of some cookies toppled and then melded together in the oven, looking like a pair of Siamese cookies. I think the tearing and squishing technique ensures a fluffy cookie with a chewy center. Yum.

Finally, I left the cookies in the oven 3-4 minutes longer than instructed and they were to my liking, but that’s up to you. Just don’t over bake! The cookies turned out soft, rich, and deeelicious.

On a side note, I only baked half the cookie dough at first. I froze the rest by rolling it into a big ball and tightly wrapping it with cling wrap. When I wanted to bake the rest (4 days later), I put the dough in the fridge a day ahead to let it thaw. It was just as moist before baking and just as chewy after baking!

Hubby's shot.
Hubby’s shot. Not bad.
My shot.
My shot. Pinterest schminterest.

Needless to say, these cookies were a huge hit at home. But a surprising thought has dawned on me as I write this post: baking this time around has been metaphorical to my moving to BC. Exciting and full of expectation at the start. Then a wave of discovery, enjoyment, and satisfaction. Now giving me an unsettling feeling in my stomach. Too much butter, too much sugar, and too far away from everything that makes me feel whole and healthy.